After speaking with him by phone, after planning and ask again to marry me after which I would have masters, for planning our honeymoon, after all ...
And most ridiculous of this story is that I am I can not have his dick in his pants, he is the lover, the faithful, who did not live without me ; ... and somehow ...
I can not judge, I can not, but I would say a thousand things, mourn him as much as I've cried these two days, make you feel so miserable as he made me feel to me, but I guess everything in life has a certain tinge retroactively before I hurt you, now I pay is so crude still see how we unconsciously continues to work the damn eye for an eye ...
I've tried, yes, to deny being with others, to fuck any of those kids that walk by Babylon claiming that my dick will provide a self ; minimum of attention, proud to say they have been with Brian Kinney ... but they are all equal now, right before my eyes, are mere numbers, no charm, no beauty, is not it, and this simple detail, which ultimately is the one that counts, he remains all interest, none has his lips, nor his ass, nor his skin, or smell, or taste, are not interest me Ely.
I will not ask her to marry me, now I could not do it, this wound has been overlaid with an old, one of those who believe and closed but suddenly and with me minimum friction ... back pain, is so far away, only that any "violinist" can approach him. He needs to want it, embrace it, you die because you cherish, you want to make love ... fuck no, that makes feelings even in the sleeping, alone and exposed to someone to give me what I can not here.
That was the deal, love was no sacrifice was not to give up their dreams to be here with me, but as I said yesterday, as I understood that felt, is not a sacrifice to be apart? Is it not having to sacrifice the two thus feel alone and empty? Now that's sacrifice, or at least for me it is, but not decision mine is he who must decide what you want and I just wait to decide, here.
I'll try to talk to him tonight, I'll try to fix this before it's too late for any of the two before it is presented here as no doubt it will if it continues not to hear from me ... but perhaps quizásy just what I want, which is real show me everything he says, which is present here, and see in his eyes that I did not lie, he regrets what happened, who still loves me as he did, and I'm not a fool to keep waiting for his return.
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