say that I use this time no obvious is unnecessary. I know how hard it is to talk about feelings, but I did not know was that the feelings I was so hard to write well.
I would like to say that at least I was eloquent in my votes, but hell, it was not as easy as selling a campaign .. . how the hell you say to someone you want more than your own life and that will continue the rest of your days ... I think Justin would have liked but I have dwelt a little longer, but what the hell ... I think that with those six words summed up everything I wanted to say. I love him, and will continue forever.
We have married, if they had told me years ago ... But we have done and I feel happy, it's a strange feeling, I remember over and over again many times se lo he pedido, la primera cuando su respuesta fue no, cuando usó contra mí las fanfarronadas que yo mismo había usado e incluso creído durante años, aquella en la achaco mi petición al miedo, lo que él no sabía, lo que él no sabe aún ahora es que esa explosión no me descubrió nada, esa explosión sólo sirvió para que me diese cuenta de que no bastaba con sentirlo, si no que tenía que hacérselo saber, aquella primera vez en su estudio, escuchando de boca de Justin que no quería marry "someone who by nature is bound to fail." Inadvertently, without seeing that I was sincere in asking. Without noticing that his answer was staring me like a dagger. I think it was one of the first times when I became aware that the final pay errors, then it is something that I have seen many times, but that, at that time was the first time that the reality of what Justin had done hit me head on.
Buy Britin was a desperate, the only so I came to prove that it was not fear, it was not the fear of death, as he thought, was another fear, one deeper, a fear that was installed in my heart when the explosion, the fear of losing, but fear not only that he died, the fear of losing any of the ways in which he had already lost at other times, fear not have you by my side, not able to kiss, I still find it difficult to consider that would have become of me if for some reason was not me, if New York had done what neither got the bomb, take it off, and although it is a few meters from me, although I see him on the beach, painting, facing the sea, although it turned to smile at me, while I feel a tightness in the chest, choking me, and I know that if I had to smile at now could mourn, for each and every one of the times that I showed him what he wanted to see, what I felt but did not dare ; to a show, now I do, maybe then, when we return, I again be hard to do, the words are not my forte, at least he yes I know, but I also know that he has learned to "listen" to say how much I want when I do not say in words.
month we spent in Europe has been exhausting, but see his face, gaping as he pulled him by the museums, has won each of the steps it has made me, see the enthusiasm with which he planned every day. I could spend hours remembering that month, but not by Europe but by the way they live every day.
The exhibition has been a success and has sold out each of the works, I know that part is thanks to Tom, but I promised myself that I do not have the opportunity of being alone with Justin anymore, I do not know how I'm going to do, but will not let you harass again, give freedom to Justin has not worked, has called me to accompany him no, not protect him, provide him with the slimy approaching and harassing, but not hear what you decíay only with their gestures and made an effort over an opportunity not to go over and break his face, if you listen for a casual drop some of the "subtle" hints that Justin did not know if he could avoid the temptation to show how far Jack me showed what a good punch.
This red, the Caribbean sun will not tan in more than one occasion I had to remind him to take sunscreen or get burned, we made love and we fucked like rabbits in every corner authentic house on the beach, water ...
At times the brightness of her eyes goes out, do not know what you think, when I ask tells me that nothing happens, but those moments are there times when you look at me and I do not see, lost somewhere in his mind, and that scares me not knowing what to think, would be regretting is getting married? Am I doing wrong?. There are only a few days, a few days to get back, Ela New York, to paint to interact with people of their world, gallery owners, representatives and myself, and I back to the glorious Pittsburgh to miss him, we dream every night with the day to come back around to me, which no longer has to part with him anymore.
is picking up their pencils, I think it done. And I is not easy to just smile when I would like to hug and not let go ever.
