Although brought red eyes from crying, no raised the issue, I thought I had passed, he had understood that I had no intention to touch. Everything was perfect, a secret that sees the light without serious consequences. Or at least that's what I thought.
began to tear their clothes as we climbed the stairs, the two tangled bodies, bound, an amalgam of arms and legs, his lips, O God! his mouth ... and a promise to keep, so to make things easier to bring your lube, what happened after I caught by surprise that I did not know how to react, as it tended, ereccióny lost if it were only that, but ran out of the room, I heard him running up and close the study the door.
It hurt, it hurt me deeply, my reaction was such as to show me how disgusted he was, at least that's the only thing I thought at that time, I immediately regretted not haberle mentido, de no haberme inventado algo o simplemente seguir ignorando sus preguntas.
Me senté en el ordenador, con la esperanza de decirle todo lo que pensaba, o mejor dicho, lo que no pensaba pero que le dolería lo suficiente como para que se largase y allí estaba... en el messenger como si no hubiese pasado nada, asi que con toda la rabia que bullía en mi interior le solte la primera de las muchas patadas que le dedique anoche. “ Mañana a primera hora saldré, tienes todo el tiempo que quieras to pick up your shit and get away " What I did not expect was his reaction, during these years I have always got hurt when I've proposed, I have been away from my side without difficulty Last night he was not the work, I do not know where he got the strength, but since returning home during radiotherapy had never been so strong.
The more effort put me in harm, more put him in fighting back, the lamps in our bedroom ended up crashing into a mirror. Alcohol needed so that the laptop in one hand down the hall, shouting down the stairs "FUCK SUNSHINE" when I got to the hall, I did not bother pick up a glass, drank from the bottle directly, the conversation each time I was tougher, but I do not know how he kept his ground, not falling apart, on the contrary, throw to give one of those occasions I remembered what happened in his party graduacióny Beam threw the bottle against the chimney, I was cornered by him, had an answer for every one of my attacks, so I ended by telling, for giving him the information he craved, and go through all that shit I thought and so far, but I was suffocating at times, and I told him everything, as I had felt like something had been passed, to what extent the fault shushed me, as I superimposed or not, as a follow on is something I figured he would know, I did not dwell on the years it took to lock up that fear, the deep shame .
When I told him one last time to be long lost control completely, I do not know what happened then because of the following I was conscious of her body was wrapped in the bed while I cried sheltering in it, I do not know at what point I fell asleep, but I remember well the many times that night made me waking nightmares, and each and every one of those times he was there beside me. Her eyes betray her, she cried, now I do not know if what I have told, or what I said trying to take away from me.
I speak, has brought me a fucking orange juice, but I did not even dare look into his eyes, now I know everything, including the they knew it was not necessary, at times I would like to throw, that was not so damn persistent, find ways to do enough damage to that hated me, but I know I could not go on without him.
I keep hurting, locking me in a silence that will not solve anything nor do I know I could tell you right now I feel very empty.
has fallen to prepare something for dinner, I have no hunger, but he should eat something, takes all day here, next to me and although I would like to know what you think, what you feel, not I dare to ask, I can not face him, I feel so embarrassed, I let him do so, did nothing to stop him, I thought their threats and I have many years paying the consequences of that silence I'm used.
Now Justin is also part my secret, now knows the reason for many things, and that gives more power, makes me feel much more vulnerable to it.
I have to break this fucking silence is driving me crazy, is driving us both crazy.
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